16: No Stupid Questions

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Also: is it better to send a congratulatory note to someone who deserves it or a condolence note to someone who needs it?

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Relevant References & Research

Question #1: We need critical feedback to improve, so why is it hard to hear?

  • Stephen refers to a recent conversation with David Byrne, the lead singer of critically-acclaimed rock band Talking Heads and the man behind the No Stupid Questions theme song, “And She Was.” Stephen spoke with Byrne for Freakonomics Radio Ep. 417, “Reasons to Be Cheerful” — in the episode, Byrne shares his experience with negative reviews and discusses his new project reasonstobecheerful.world.
  • Angela admires how her friend, organizational psychologist Adam Grant, deals with criticism. She says Grant often asks colleagues to critically review his public speeches, then rates himself on how well he received the feedback. You can check out two of these lectures on his Ted Talk page: “The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers” and “Are You a Giver or a Taker?”
  • Stephen tells a story about a creative writing seminar he took while in graduate school. This was part of a master of fine arts program in writing at Columbia University — Stephen received his degree in 1990, and later went on to teach at the University. You can read more details about his experience in Columbia Magazine.
  • Stephen and Angela discuss a study colloquially known as the “wise-feedback paper,” which found that teachers were able to make feedback 40 percent more effective by prefacing it with 19 words. The 2014 study was published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General and is called, “Breaking the Cycle of Mistrust: Wise Interventions to Provide Critical Feedback Across the Racial Divide.”
  • Stephen and Angela briefly touch on the idea of “radical candor.” Executive coach Kim Scott is the author of the New York Times bestseller Radical Candor, and Bridgewater Associates’s Ray Dalio famously practices radical transparency.

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Question #2: Which is the more meaningful act — celebrating a friend’s accomplishment, or supporting them through a loss?

  • Angela turns to the work of social psychologist Shelly Gable to teach Stephen how to best support a loved one’s accomplishments. In a 2006 paper, “Will You Be There for Me When Things Go Right? Supportive Responses to Positive Event Disclosures,” Gable and her co-author discuss the importance of active-constructive responses.
  • For resources on how to best support someone during trying times, Angela recommends looking into supportive listening — a relationship-building tool which Stephen initially mocks, but quickly learns to embrace.
  • Before Angela fully explains the concept of supportive listening, Stephen jokes that it seems like a “Saturday Night Live version of grieving.” For an actual Saturday Night Live version of grief, check out this 1976 sketch where Chevy Chase plays a priest who can’t stop hiccuping at a funeral.
  • Stephen and Angela briefly discuss the idea of “mirroring” — a subconscious reflection of another person’s behavior. To learn more about the science behind mirroring, we recommend checking out this 2016 paper from The Royal Society: “Mirroring and Beyond: Coupled Dynamics as a Generalized Framework for Modelling Social Interactions.”

A stitch in time saves nine what?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? How to install pci adapter.

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright

Are female moths called myths?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands?

Are there any unguided missiles?

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say 'Do Not Pass'?

Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Crime doesn't pay.. does that mean my job is a crime?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do boxer shorts box?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Do clowns wear really big socks?

Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

Do fish get thirsty?

Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do mass murderers kill only in church?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as '4's'?

Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do steam rollers really roll steam?

Do television evangelists do more than lay people? --Stanley Ralph Moss

Do vampires get AIDS?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Do witches run spell checkers?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? --Steven Wright

Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

Does an analyst have to be anal? --Adam Rifkin

Does killing time damage eternity?

Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Ever notice how irons have a setting for 'permanent' press? I don't get it. --Steven Wright

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?

Have you ever wondered?

How can someone 'draw a blank'?

How can there be self-help 'groups'?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

How come chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows?

How come I can pick my ears but not my nose?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How dead is the Dead Sea?

How did a fool and his money get together?

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?

Stupid

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How do they get the 'Keep off the Grass' sign on the grass?

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?

How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?

How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?

How does it work out that these people always die in alphabetical order?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

How is it possible to have a 'civil' war?

How is it possible to run out of space?

How long is the long arm of the law?

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

How much milk is there in the Milky Way?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was? --Satchel Paige

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing 'Happy Birthday?'

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? --Tom Robbins

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer? --Steven Wright

If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn't it reverse up and down?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?

If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing a triangle in the air? --Steven Wright

If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb?

If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Questions

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --Harry Shearer

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

16: No Stupid Questions Answered

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? --Steven Wright

If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them?

If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear?

If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of? --Ashleigh Brilliant

If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?

If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show? --Steven Wright

If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it? --George Carlin

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?

If humans have nightmares, what do horses have?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? --Steven Wright

16: No Stupid Questions Examples

If I save time, when do I get it back?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? --Dennis Miller

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

16: No Stupid Questions

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If the product says 'Do not use if seal is broken', how are you supposed to open it and use it?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? --Art Hoppe

If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

16: No Stupid Questions Tell Me

Free rapidweaver stacks. If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?

If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?

Is 'tired old cliché' one?

Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback?

Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer?

Is a small pig called a hamlet?

Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?

Is drilling for oil boring?

Is duck tape made out of ducks?

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Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?

Is the nose the scenter of the face?

Is this bullshit or fertilizer?

Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

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